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Advice to the Fool.

June 9, 2011

Wow…becareful when you say you are handing out passes. People climb out of the woodwork when they hear someone is dolling out forgiveness. Someone should have told people I only had 2 passes…you saw them…TWO. Phew…Makes me wonder if people do things just to be forgiven…or to dare others to forgive them.

I want to be a good example to my kids…for spiritual reasons…sure. But for everything the spiritual reasons result in…I don’t want my kids to carry around dumb hurts and whatnot….just shake it off. Hand people a pass and move on…don’t tie yourselves to others because of your pride. It just binds you to some idiot and slows you down on your path in life…you have places to go, things to accomplish. Your entitlement to feel hurt or sad or put off because you are You and They shouldn’t have said/done that to you is wasting your energy. I want to be a good example. I feel like if I raise my kids to be less selfish and more forgiving then they will prosper, if its second nature to them.

It is not second nature to me. My first response is a glassy eyed blink…and thank God for that. My second response, once I sit back…is to verbally viscerate someone. I am more then capable. My words, so sharp, can leave another in a puddle of tears. The thing that slows me down is my acknowledgment of how dangerous my words can be. I learned at the hip of many sharp tongued quick witted women.

The thing is… these women, who are less accomplished at verbal battle then me, look like fools. They interrupt happy conversations to spit out sugar coated bile. The options were: to sit quiet, add a complimentary story or spit out some disrespectful comment through smiling lips…and for some reason…the last option won out in their minds?

I don’t want to look like them…so I keep silent. I wouldn’t want my children to look like them…so I try and teach my daughters (and sons) to be above the jabs. I want better for my daughters….for all my children. I want better for all of us as women. Honestly, I want better for the woman who is dishing out these tactless thoughts.

I know she speaks out of a place of hurt…but aren’t we all hurt, why is that an excuse? I wrestle with how bad I want to help her in her day to day and with just wanting to smack her cheeks till they are cherry red. Here is a word of advice for all the women who feel the need to disrespect other women, other mothers at social gatherings …Just stop looking like The Fool. We get your messy…everyone is messy from time to time….that isn’t a glowing attribute…but what we do accomplish
everyday, raising these messy kings and queens,
is admirable work and shouldn’t be disrespected.

I think we would all benefit if we just enjoyed each others company. I have seven little people at home who give me enough hassle. When I am willing to take a few hours away from my family to spend in the company of other women who share my passion…I would really rather enjoy the moments, not have my guard up waiting for someone to disrespect the work I do.

We can all be so much better when we edify each other in the art of raising royalty.

(how do you deal with this and in what ways are you teaching your children to be better)

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