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Beauty is to be admired

August 12, 2011

5mins + writing =Five Minute Friday.
Today’s word:


I have recently read this article floating about the internet in regards to telling little girls they are beautiful. How we are dismissing their minds when we just focus on their looks. But what is so bad about a girl being pretty and knowing it. As we all know sometimes it’s there where we learn to be comfortable in our skin…to be comfortable in confidence.

I say this because I have had a person tell my daughter she has “thunder thighs”….and they “would gladly pay for the surgery to pin her ears back”
and when my daughter asked to have a book read to her…the same person has shushed her away with no time to spare.

I would love to turn back time and give that person a second chance (for mostly my beautiful daughter’s sake). Allowing that person to speak words of beauty and promise over my girl. However, I don’t think the outcome would be much different …I don’t think the opinions would have much changed. And who wants to risk the heart of a girl over the foolishness of an adult?

So I say tell the girls they are beautiful…because the whole world tells them the opposite. Once a beautiful smile spreads across their face ask them, “What books have you been reading? What is your favorite sport?”

Oh how I would love to tell you how the whole thunder thighs and ears pinning back thing played out…but alas we are only given 5minutes.

How would you have handled it?~T

23 Comments leave one →
  1. Brenda Chance permalink
    August 12, 2011 11:39 am

    I think this is why God gave me boys. I would not have handled it well at all. Beauty is always more than what can see with our eyes. I’m glad you are nurturing the truly beautiful in your girls. (Adorable pictures too!) Thanks for sharing your post. Very thought-provoking.

  2. August 12, 2011 12:21 pm

    Oh thanks… the girls recently got into sewing and wanted matching skirts.
    The irony behind the comments were they were about my (then) 2year old daughter…I mean who says a baby needs surgery and has thunder thighs?

  3. August 12, 2011 12:22 pm

    BEAUTIFUL GIRLS! Just precious.

    Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations

  4. Irene Cortez permalink
    August 12, 2011 12:44 pm

    I also had people put me down so many times when I was a little girl (because I was overweight). Even this teacher teased me about my weight. Oh how much I longed for someone to tell me how beautiful I am. I’m glad I have my mom who unceasingly reminded me of such. 🙂

    • August 12, 2011 2:13 pm

      Well let me tell you :
      You are beautiful and I am sorry anyone told you otherwise.

  5. August 12, 2011 1:15 pm

    Home is where our children should feel the most safe…to be told the truth…feel the beauty of God’s love…what a blessings your girls have that place in you.

  6. August 12, 2011 1:46 pm

    Cute pictures – and I agree, keep telling them they are beautiful because they will all too soon hear the opposite from the world.

  7. momma permalink
    August 12, 2011 2:01 pm

    we have to be so careful who we leave into our sphere of influence. possibly the story should always be told out loud or in print when those we trust near our most precious , become the most destructive. i think that there are many out there that need to shout from the roof tops the wrongs, possibly this is linked to your forgiveness blog. we must be validated in our hurt so we can forgive. how can we forgive if we are not sure it is “really” a wrong.

    • August 12, 2011 2:27 pm

      You bring up a good point… The line where confronting a person about a wrong and forgiving them ( turning the other cheek) gets blurred.
      I think we should stand up for people who need to be protected. Children fall into this category.
      I also think that when we don’t say ” No” out loud to a person we are saying yes it’s okay to keep up bad behavior.
      I love that you chimed in on this issue. Thank you.

      • August 12, 2011 4:36 pm

        And you hit the nail on the head with their being a link between the forgiveness blog post and this one.
        For sure!

  8. August 12, 2011 2:19 pm

    Thank you for stopping by my blog, reading my post, and leaving a sweet comment. I really love your thoughts. I agree. There is a difference in having our daughters feel beautiful, than in instilling arrogance in them. If we don’t point out their beauty, physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, they will seek that affirmation from someone and sadly it turns out they can be easily exploited. Parents should let her children know how beautiful and precious they are.

    About your situation…I would like to say that I would have been very Christian in my response, remember that grievous words stir up anger. But, I’m afraid I would have pointed out that person’s physical flaws. You know, my daughter had major surgery as a baby and due to significant scar tissue that did not grow with her body, she had reconstructive surgery a year and a half ago. I loved her plastic surgeon. She still has a very large scar, but it’s not as bad. He talk to her and told her that everyone has something that could be changed or fixed about their bodies, so to understand and accept how beautiful she was, scar and all. 😉

    • August 12, 2011 2:42 pm

      What a positive spin for the doctor to infuse your brave girl with.
      I hate when society goes the other direction entirely to where we shouldn’t even speak of how beautiful our differences are…so awkward and uncomfortable for everyone.

  9. Dr. Dre permalink
    August 12, 2011 3:32 pm

    the ear pinning really riles me up! my ears were extra large for a tiny girl, and i remember wanting to have them fixed. i grew into them, kind of, but it really took someone saying, hey – you would not be you without those ears that God gave you. so rock it. if only i had been around… 😉

    i think its great to speak to the minds of girls, to let them know their opinions and thoughts matter. however i think it is just as important to tell them they are beautiful and to teach them to embrace their beauty. don’t you think the girls that didn’t get that growing up are the same ones getting plastic surgery to ‘fix’ things and tearing other women (and girls) down?

    • August 12, 2011 4:38 pm

      Well first let me tell you on behalf of women… I am truly sorry for anyone whoever said anything about your ears. I am sure you are beautiful.
      Good point about the girls who weren’t told how truly beautiful they were inside and out only thought to fix what they could see in the mirror…
      Balance is key.

  10. August 12, 2011 4:26 pm

    interesting interesting! that article brings up a good point on valuing girls for their brains too…but i agree we should just love on them all and love them for all of who they are and celebrate their beauty and keep on telling them that!

    • August 12, 2011 4:40 pm

      Exactly celebrate who they are in their entirety…whether it’s ears or scars or chubby or thin or wifey hair or cottony blow a round hair…smart or athletic of artsy..
      Definitely not tell them you would like to put them under and have their ears surgically ” fixed”

  11. August 12, 2011 4:46 pm

    The truth of the matter is when my daughter was insulted repeatedly I didn’t know what to do… I wasn’t prepared on what you say as a new mother playing on the floor with your first daughter. No one had ever told me someone would insult my daughter and I needed to make ready a comeback… So I just stared blankly. Which was the worst because as years went on my daughter was insulted more and more…till 8 years later in a last trimester state of stress i snapped…lol… And just said , no more!!!
    How long was I too keep turning the other cheek at the expense of my daughter? Something I struggled with for sure.
    My forgiveness of all of this including the eight years of scrutiny has been met with ( crickets) absolute silence…. Not one peep has been made.the critical person has not so much as replied to my forgiveness of them verbally shredding my daughter.
    What now?

  12. August 12, 2011 4:55 pm

    Wow. I had an adult call my kid freckle face the other day. And he actually did it more than once. I didn’t know what to do. Luckily my boy laughed it off. He’s just 4 and thought it was funny. I had an inner freak out, though, thinking that this was the first insult to my boy and hoping it wouldn’t crush him.

    I love to call my girls beautiful, and my boy handsome. And I love to tell them other awesome things about themselves. 🙂

    Right on for your post today.

    • August 12, 2011 6:57 pm

      I think freckles are beautiful.
      I think it’s so strange how adults think it’s perfectly fine to critique children’s looks but if I said word one about someones bad hair or inter tube waist line I would be beyond rude ( and rightfully so)
      But we spend our entire adult life trying to rebuild the confidence torn apart in our youth.
      So again I say we should tell people they are great inside and out…because the world will tell them a million times more that they are not.
      Thanks for coming by,

  13. August 13, 2011 7:38 am

    If you needed to get stuff off your chest and write a letter than technically you don’t have to hear anything back from that person. If you are looking for an apology then you may never get one. But does your freedom hinge on their sorrowful heart? No. And thank God. If you want to have a relationship w this person (or your children) then you have to let God deal w the pain they bring. And let that be water under the bridge until/if it happens again- you don’t sit drop jawwed on the floor you say something (maybe not right away infront of everyone, but within that 24 hours when you MAKE time to tell them ) and stand up for your children or yourself. Don’t let anyone make you or your kids feel less than who they truely are – and that’s pretty awesome.

    • August 13, 2011 7:47 am

      Well in our situation the person should say something…something which says they have read it …or are processing it. I think a no response is the worst and most blantant “go screw yourself” that a person can send to another.
      I really do feel like I forgive the person….trust? no. Want to go out shopping with? no…. but I feel like what can they do now? nothing…so I can move on…I have more important things to busy myself with. Obviously this person wasn’t bringing a whole lot of light to my life anyway….but its that line about where your doing the right thing and just getting beat up… ahh well…its been a week and no response…I guess that is our response.?

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