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Dodging the Gathering.

September 19, 2011

As much as I know about the showing up and the gathering and only the willing will receive…
I still doubt.
I claim busyness…I just got homeso much to doI have to go out and bring back things.

I head towards the red bulls eye and load up the car. I tell myself so many things to ease my guilt.

But I know only the willing receive.

I yell out to the yard and tell the kids to put everything away and come in for bed.
I go to bed after running and running and gathering nothing but things.
I know what keeps me up at night.
If I could say I forgot, would I feel better?
But I didn’t forget….
I just doubted anything would be as good a place to receive as where I have been.
Here in the stillness
I would rather run and hide from the garden and the throne room…
go and gather nothing.
My heart would break to go and gather nothing.
All night I know what I have done.

The morning comes early and with my tea I go out into the cold

so cold,

everything neatly put away save one thing…
right in my path.

Everything is just waiting to receive.
A sign like before to come and to receive.
It will happen anywhere.
No judgement.
No anger.
Just being welcome.

I sit on my bench and breath deep the aroma of God Himself.
He pours out revelation and holds nothing back.
I listen and drink deep.

How could I think the place mattered?
I spoke to Him here so many times ….
It is only self that stops us from receiving.
There is so much to gather.
He has so much to give.

So much to be Thankful for on this Week Start….

  1. Sisters blowing bubbles and dancing in the yard. Baby squinting hard to say, “Bub-eeeeeze”
  2. Dump trucks waiting to receive left out overnight.
  3. Opportunities to take the kids to help flood victims.
  4. Coming home to a clean house.
  5. Mer telling me her room smells so good, “I could sniff it and sniff it!”…it  smells normal to me…but it smells like home to her.
  6. Beautiful warm Sunday.
  7. A husband appearing at the end of a hard day with popcorn and a Skinny Girl Margarita.
  8. Kids who ask what God told me this morning…..they know to receive.
  9. Grandparents who are still tough and strong.
  10. Boys out for haircuts…normally my job to trim everyone…. now a “bonding trip with Dad”.
6 Comments leave one →
  1. September 19, 2011 3:09 pm

    I love the visual of the truck…just empty…sitting..waiting to be filled. Lovely…

    • September 20, 2011 8:58 am

      It was so telling… because of what happened at the beach.
      Another toy dump truck , just like before.. still about receiving.

  2. September 19, 2011 9:26 pm

    Beautiful post – I have been feeling it too lately, that laying in bed thinking about how I gathered much but only things. Thanks for reminding me that only self stops us from receiving. Love the imagery.

    • September 20, 2011 8:59 am

      it is all about self.
      the sooner we step out of self…the more everything opens up.

  3. September 20, 2011 1:03 am

    could have been my heart last night… tonight I waited until I was filled before coming in…
    He is always there, always here, always ready… may I be the same

    loved this… thanks for sharing!
    loved the dump truck… His love stuck in the morning dew… all over it

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