where i almost cry.
My eyes just burst with tears and I blink it all back.
I am being so silly.
There are people starving.
There are people who need shelter.
and my eyes without my permission just start to fill up and there isn’t anything I can do to prevent it.
I had no idea I would see it… no idea it would feel like a giant rubber band and snapped deep within me.
I tried to tell my husband this story twice.. but the words .. they choked right in the middle of my throat.. and I knew he would have to read it here…with you (Hi, honey).
I think back to a story a friend told me… how during the sad days… the blue days that creep up while you hold your week old baby… she craved it… she craved art, more then food. The only thing she could squeeze into her day was crayons…so she would color shapes… just to see it created. I listened to her story and nodded. I knew that feeling where you need to create more then eat… more then you understand.
I know that feeling where you go about your day… and you are really just trying to get to it… the paint, the pencils, the gardening and landscaping the wood and scroll saw… I know that need. When you will be appeased if all you can do is see paint pushed or dragged across paper.
I can remember the day my aunt sat me down with water paints.. I thought her work was amazing. I still have it hidden away in my box of paints… and then she would take me to lessons…I couldn’t understand what the teacher wanted me to do, I was only five or six and my life was a dark scary place….. but it didn’t matter…. I was forever indebted to my aunt for letting me move paint on paper. I had sipped the water where my paints had rested….it was so pretty…maybe that is when it happened… when I needed art.
So I should have known I would react in such a silly way… with tears. I mean, they didn’t come out of my eyes.. but that is only because I am very good at blinking it all away.
And even now as I think about my reaction my eyes are filling up and again I feel ….just.. silly and I blink harder.
It’s silly right? When people need food and clean water…. and me in my life where I can sit around and paint with my children, all well fed.
Where I can sit and just play with paint… my greatest concern is to worry I will have to wait for UPS to bring more… I mean, it may take a day…or even two.
and people are starving.
But I clicked on this page and scrolled down. I clicked on the Compassion International Christmas Catalog… it gives you all these ways you can just do a one time contribution… and right there on the second to last line … I mean I can’t even look at it….
you can buy someone art supplies.
Please go to it and look… see what moves you. Then blog about it. I would love to read about what you felt compelled to do… and you can inspire others… and if we all inspire each other to use the gifts and to promote gifts in others… can you imagine how He appreciates that… all of us together wanting more for His people.
If you blog about it.. please come back and leave a comment.. or just comment to encourage others. I would love to visit you and encourage you. Linking up with other artists at my friend Jenn’s blog StudioJRU ~T