“How much Longer?”

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“Much longer Momma?”  He asks me like a thousand boys have asked during haircuts  since the beginning of time.  And I want to tell him…”longer?…yes please”

Stay.

Stay this forgivable age…where you think I am a good momma.  Where you won’t remind me of all the mess-ups I have done.  Stay this age longer…like forever.

I clip off his thick hair and remember when I was giving birth to him exactly twelve years ago, and the horrible nurse in the cat shirt said, “oh look he will be a baldy”…and I.stopped. pushing. For sure he would have hair… but no.  No hair till he was two…. and now hair so thick I must buy new  scissors every other month.  The thickest hair of all my children.

This boy who made me a mother.  This boy who showed me God’s awesome love for me.…way back when I was sure God had shrugged his shoulders at me.

This boy of mine who shows God’s grace with every forgiveness and smile he shines my way.

Hair so thick …him and I must sit like this nearly every month.

Growing so fast.

clip.clip.clip.

I wish I could shear off all the mess-ups we do as parents. There seems to be no way around screwing up…it is just part of this parenting deal.  What is the secret to raising kids who will love you forever?  Some mothers are strict and some very permissive and neither one seems to guarantee you  children coming home at Christmas.    I want Cal’s life story to always criss cross mine.  It all goes so fast. Everyone says it…and you know why everyone says it…because it’s true.

clip.snip. Thick clumps of hair encircle us…him and I in the center.  His  little brothers watching him…always watching how he handles things.

“last year before I become a teenager….. do you think we are almost done here,Momma?…how much longer?”

clip.snip…blink. blink….

“Momma?”

“ahem…um…yep…longer for sure.”

blink. blink. breathe out.

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~Happy Birthday! You are a great son!