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Happy Birthday to Me!

May 12, 2012

There is a time when I never would have told you.

Oh my gosh, no, never!

I would have felt it would be weak…. and just a bother to you.

I had made an agreement with evil… back when I was a little girl.

Can I tell you about it?

 I will need to blink back tears.. but will you sit and listen?  Thank you , ya know I always said you are the best readers.

Probably after my parents divorce…back when being happy I got a Jem and the Hollogram doll or Pound Puppy from “the other” side ,was heaping guilt every time I picked it back up.

Crushing ugly guilt.

And back then…and even now I was this girl, not a little girl who caused more conflict.

Somewhere back then, evil whispered to a little girl playing in her room…“gifts come with too much responsibility… you aren’t worth celebrating…it’s too much work…it causes too much hassle and conflict… it’s not worth it….you. aren’t. worth. it.”  And somewhere back then I must have agreed with it….

I agreed with evil , I wasn’t worth celebrating.

But God is funny…and He wants freedom…He wants us to receive it.  So God being funny, gave me a sister on my exact birthday…so I could never escape my birthday…never brush it off.

This week I asked Him…why my mind goes into a bumper to bumper traffic jam when I think about my birthday… but I will be the first to make a cake for someone else.  He wants freedom…so if you ask for revelation…expect it.

Who here thinks that a child isn’t worth celebrating?  So how much more was He celebrating me?   His creation!  So I took that lie…and I cast it off…if I made a vow with evil I broke it off…and ,in a new revelation from a great friend,

I cast if off at the foot of His throne…to let Him judge the lie for what it is.

It was amazing.

I bought myself some new shoes.  My husband gathered my friends and told them where to meet.  And I will never forget when my husband said to me very  off the cuff,

“You have amazing friends they replied so fast and they can’t wait.”  I honestly didn’t even know what to do with that information….

It really had never dawned on me that my birthday would be anything more then a scheduling inconvenience for people, something I didn’t want to put upon them….

but something felt so different, now.

Because at first…

sometimes freedom is confusing…but a kind of confusing that feels good…because we are meant for freedom.  But it is normal to feel confused when the bondage you had is released..and you walk into somewhere you have never been…even if the place is full of happy people who are genuinely happy to spend their evening with you.

I am worth celebrating.

You are worth celebrating.

(my girls made me cards)

(I do love a bracelet…or many)

(my boys and husband made me new raised beds)

I have so much to be thankful for…and I celebrate all of it!

Because you are what you celebrate.

And I will celebrate all the blessings He has for me!


feel free to go and celebrate my sister , it’s her birthday too!

6 Comments leave one →
  1. May 12, 2012 11:39 am

    awww… you have me crying big joyous tears for a little girl who has heard the truth that sets her free… I am so glad for this joy you have and for such a blessed family and marvelous friends… include me in on the ones happy to celebrate you… and your sister!
    You are ever precious, and I am honoured to call you friend!
    Blessings ‘T’
    A marvelous post and one I can really relate too… so much of the same unravelled threads now home spun in love by Jesus!

  2. r.elliott permalink
    May 12, 2012 12:24 pm

    OH HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Oh I have known this lie as well…to be honest…still finding freedom myself…oh but you are a treasured jewel…I am sure your IRL friends loved the opportunity to pour their love upon you…what a full weekend for you…celebrating just you for who you are…then you…being the wonderful mother to your little brood. Have the most fantabulous weekend…filled with all the love and joy you can hold.

  3. May 12, 2012 2:41 pm

    Yayyyyyyyyyy! Freeeeeeedddddooooooommmm! Nothing better than a little FREE on your birthday! Happy sweet day T!

  4. Carol permalink
    May 12, 2012 8:14 pm

    Oh Dear Lord,
    This very precious friend was born and I thank You for knitting her in her mother’s womb.
    I pray that you bless her Lord because she is just such a blessing to me. She lifts me up when I am down, and just touches me with her SONshine. Be with her Lord and I pray Your favor over her and her family. God, I love her. Amen

    I’m so sure you had a special day and that you were blessed many times.
    Hugs to you T!! Happy Birthday!!

  5. May 13, 2012 8:53 am

    Happy Birthday dear one! God danced the day you were born.

  6. studiojru permalink
    May 15, 2012 1:16 pm

    Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. You are worth celebrating. Happy (belated) Birthday… my nearly birthday sharer! lol Looks like an amazing celebration!! ♥

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