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This is worth it.

June 11, 2012

I remember when I was in labor with Ash and that was 36 hours of what felt like I was going nowhere. We were still laboring at home and I could tell my husband was exhausted…and that just brings you down, and that is just the truth of the matter after having already labored for 24+hours.

The love of my life was tending to me in labor….but I was trying to labor to birth something I knew ,very intimately, existed.

Every so often one of my other kids would pop in the room and chatter about.  I remember noting how strange it was that I could feed off that energy. Leaning up against the wall watching their energy…hearing their story it would lift my head, bring light back into my eyes.  My tired  husband, not wanting me to be “bothered”, would come in and shoo them back downstairs, setting them up with a new snack or game.  It wasn’t that I needed them to birth… that would happen tired or not… but I noticed that it did bolster me and help me soldier on….their fresh excitement.

Wherever this whole thing is going… this other place… this Sunday Dinner.. this PFW…. wherever He wants this to go…sometimes it gets tiring.  Can I say that?  Can I be honest?  It’s not the kind of tiring where you want to get out…nothing like that.  Just for a few hours: tiring.  It’s the tricky part of having seen what He wants…and where He wants to take us …that He wants this.

Sometimes all I have is that I know it exists.  He exists and that He wants this more for everyone else then I do.

This past Saturday night… I was very tired.  As I looked around I had to just focus on why I was there.  Keep my head down when what I wanted , was to  kick a chair over.   Then towards the end a friend walked in.  He needed this.  He needed somewhere to go… to just praise, uninterrupted.  He brought energy we didn’t  have.  He brought want and desire and encouragement and heart ….allowing us to be part of something bigger then us….allowing us to enjoy this…whatever this is.

All it took was someone else bringing their heart.  That’s all He ever wanted.

Just bring your heart He will do the rest.

~*~

I am so Thankful…and here is just a few reasons why:

  1. For friends who show up to PFW…every. single. one. who comes to help each week….it’s a blessing to work with you.
  2. Funny pictures from the love of my life who is out with my brother.
  3. Frozen cherries on ice-cream with chocolate sauce.
  4. A fun spa party at my  friends’ house.
  5. Laying by the pool all day yesterday.
  6. Someone showing up with dinner…. too much food, wanting to share!!  Impromptu Sunday Dinner.
  7. A quiet morning of gardening.
  8. the love of my life can play the guitar for hours at these things…and even when he says he didn’t do a good job keeps going on.
  9. a baby who potty trained herself….done and done.
  10. that He let’s me participate with all of this…even when my attitude wants to kick over a chair.
  11. for brothers who show up to take care of rabbits in the garden.
  12. moved away musician friends who came back to visit.
  13. clean kid rooms.
  14. sound sleeps.
  15. the way mornings are quiet with kids rustling cereal and murmurs of , “good morning momma…you have a good sleep?”
  16. another sunny day by the pool for today!
  17. a cardinal nest right outside my window…watching them tend to it.
  18. how kids will clean anything and everything so they can get to the pool early
  19. how a house stays so clean when you have been at the pool all day… 🙂
  20. my grandparents have a pool…just one farm over.
3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 11, 2012 12:49 pm

    yes, tired. yes, it is worth it. and yes, in His time, His way, He gifts us His refreshing!
    Blessings dear gratitude friend!
    ((and #’s 14 & 19 – definitely for me too :))

  2. June 12, 2012 10:57 pm

    what a treasure to have grandparents… just one farm over! with a pool!!!!
    You sound tired my friend but that is okay. That is when God builds His lasting character in our lives. I love your gratitudes…I understand each one and smiles at the potty training one… and the clean house because you were at the pool!
    hugs and praise your way. Deep breath, let it out, remember how very much God loves you.

    • June 13, 2012 10:43 am

      coming to my computer right now…reading your last phrase….tears.
      thank you for writing what you were lead to write…. I needed to read that at this perfect time.
      T

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