The man that I get to spend the rest of my life with pops his head into our bedroom, lit only by the TV, “Hey they want you to come downstairs… they want you to pray.” They had all gone to PFW without me, I had stayed home to take care of the red headed boy with the asthma. All men at PFW this week… I figured it happened that way for a reason. The fasting over (of the Prayer~Fast~Worship) and the worship never-ending…I knew they would all end up around big plates of chicken wings going over their revelations… I was fine to sit this week out….seemed it was a mens thing this week.
“I really feel like you are supposed to pray,” he says to me when I walk into the kitchen.
This man who has traveled the world, set up outreaches and ministries…he always calls me the prophet, an itchy title I haven’t grown into it yet, I feel. So I pull out the little step stool the kids use, and unfold it…sitting myself tiny in the corner of cabinets.I am sure this is just a polite gesture by these guys to make me feel included… but really I was fine watching the Discovery channel upstairs. But God and I have this deal; if someone asks me “for a word”it is probably going to happen, and I am glad to be involved. I mean, truthfully , I love doing that more then anything else.
The men, they pray…I fiddle with a bottle top scratching off the shark on it’s top… and just as fidgety I shake off the business of earlier in the evening of nebulizers and asthma inhalers, of bathing babies … I shift my weight on my tiny low perch. I hear bits of their prayers as I go to Him… this taking off the natural and shifting into the spiritual becoming easier for me, less itchy every time…. more like fins and I am finding it easier to slip through easier… I will hold them in prayer, but this is a man’s prayer thing and I just plan on sitting quiet….praying.
oddly I feel a change and the natural feet shift back, fins gone and I feel like I have lost my footing… i look up to see the one man fumbling his words… he can’t piece his prayer together and with out missing a beat another man picks it up and prays against confusion and I nod because that’s it… I close my eyes and slip back into the spiritual.
(I am reminded how the enemy always does the opposite…our God doesn’t clean up after evil…evil is trying to thwart the good plan already in place….confusion thrown out to thwart revelation.)
I hear another man ask the other guy…”what was He saying to you when you felt rejected at that time”. there is a fumbling of words…rejection so deep that he still can’t hear Him….hear what He was saying in that moment.
Tell him…. Tell him what I was saying. Then tell them all….Tell them…..
and I can feel the heartbeat of Him who opens doors and invites you in….
so I told him…and talk about sliding effortlessly through the spiritual…
So now I can tell you….so call up that memory of when you have felt rejected…remember yourself standing there?
Where is He?
He wants you to know…
I haven’t rejected you…I never have. When you stood there and felt your heart fall and you heard the lie and it felt right…it felt right because you didn’t see yourself the way I see you and I see you as worth it. I saw all the things you had done…would do and I loved you enough…love you enough. You have always been worth it to me. That rejection you feel I have felt rejected by you by everyone by the world and still came to overcome it.. I have overcome it. Because I find it all worth it. So when you want to overcome the spirit of rejection remember that I have felt it too… and the same Spirit that rose me from the dead…that same Spirit that overcame all the rejection thrown at me…that Spirit which overcomes rejection…is in you… so when you wonder what He was saying… He was saying it is finished..it has been done…don’t put the yoke back on and believe a lie that it hasn’t been overcome…Because He overcame it…and that Spirit is in you.
WHOA…so much to be thankful for…let’s do this!
- Tiff Aiken singing… go here to see what happened first then why this is a HUGE miracle… she died 4 times…they said she wouldn’t sing again…heck they didn’t know if she would live…But yesterday morning her and her husband led worship…hearing them singing…”You’re good…so so good to me”. Watching her (online) was amazing… Hearing her sing things like, “You are the God of the impossible” and “The same Spirit that brought You back from the grave is inside of me”…sheesh!
- Regardless of singing, which is more then what humans would think her portion… I am so thankful that her babies have a mama.
- The love of my life calling about the field I have prayed over and begged God for seven years….could you pray for it too? (we haven’t heard back yet…)
- A new friend’s off the hand remark about me being “her peeps”…lol, who knew? I am so touched and happy I already considered her my friend… but that kind of nod is always extra sweet.
- Having lunch with my brother and noticing…oh yeah, he has a wedding ring…he is a husband! So proud of him.
- Getting to hang out with my awesome new sisterinlaw…. trying to give them a wide space to be newlyweds and not be bothered…but I secretly was chomping the bit to hang out.
- nebulizers in our home so we can give that red headed kid treatments without an ER visit….when inhalers just don’t help him.
- How he can breathe when I check on him again and again all.night.long.
- hearing his brother pray for him at bedtime….that is their normal….what an awesome “normal”.
- wayward potatoes that grew up in the edge of the garden…missed potatoes from last year.
- A strong husband with strong friends who can run PFW when I must stay home with the asthmay kid.
- How we can stay up late with friends and musicians…talking late about this post…. talking about what I couldn’t openly talk about here….but if He gives you revelation about that post, I would LOVE to talk about it with you.
- How He still included me in PFW (the after-hours show at our house,lol) even when I couldn’t be there.
- So many opportunities in the future…places to go…half-way around the world?
- an awesome friend who built our kids a new swing…it’s like the most picturesque swing this farm has ever had.
- My aunt (who took me to water painting lessons as a kid) pinning my pesto recipe… it was like winning an award.