“That’s great, ” my contractor, Derek the Gnome, said brushing me off as he rushed about in my new studio…”But first we havta get a handle on this power circuit…there is a lot of power coming into here.”
I opened my sleepy eyes to realize it had all just been a dream.
Blinking I try to focus on my water sitting on the night stand…my eyes drifting shut. I pull the warmth of my covers up to my earlobes…not able to draw the line between dreamy reality and awake reality I talk to Him…”more important than the power circuit… I really need confirmation on that Naked Gospel book.” As I slowly wake up I Hear, “the book is confirmation of all the things I told you.” Still sleepy enough to demand more I continue…” but then I need a sandwich of confirmation…because that book is crazy.. have I sounded that crazy?…it seems way too good to be true….but it is what I have been saying…but still, a sandwich of confirmation,please.”
I get up…thirsty.
I sit down with the hook and yarn which will slow thoughts down. I need to line each piece up…hook them through. Thread it all together.
I fumble about for my colored pencils and I realize there is no amount of highlighting which does this just service… these words about us being “made holy…once and forever”. How does that look? What should I be walking in?
What happens if I walk with the expectancy of literally being a holy child once and forever?
Part of me remembers so many posts I have written on this type of thing after sitting outside in a field begging God for new revelation? Once I see it like this, all professional and published …. I don’t know. I don’t want to scare you just yet with what that could look like…… I will run a few experiments and get back to you on it.
I wish Ruby Grubb was here to bring all of it together, the way she had when I was little in Sunday School…. My mind had been running as I had stared down at the coloring sheet of Moses coming down a mountain with little cemetery stones. I had sat close enough to Ruby Grubb so I could help with her blue felt board… but now here I was staring at these tombstones just like in the graveyard. With a grey crayon in hand I was beginning to believe I had been right all along, we were all going to die and miss out on Jesus, “Miss Grubb…we can never do all of those 10Commandments… and we are all doing bad things…and if Jesus came and took it all away at Easter… and I mess it up…” She looked over at me and smiled as she listened to my jumbled ideas, her curled grey hair style was too young, almost girl like for her age. With her full attention I added my nightly insurance plan, ” I ask Jesus into my heart every night… because I do so many things wrong…and I don’t want Him to come back and leave me behind…I don’t want everyone to go but me.” She reached across and patted my hand still holding the dull crayon…”Once is enough…no matter what you do. Once is enough you can’t act more good or more bad…once is enough.” She squeezed my hand and I knew she was right.
And I am not wrestling about with the concept of what flesh is… or being a holy child. I guess it is more that what I have felt along being confirmed by this book …like when I said in this post about what Grace looks like, when I said ,”Stop. Trying to NOT sin. Stop.” Or when I wrote about Letting your Spirit Burst Through….. I get it. So I guess it all boils down to the crazy truth where other people think this way too….and are living it out. That these ideas aren’t just pretty Christian ideas that people pat on the head and think, “yes someday”…. but that some know this as your everyday truth…
the once and forever.
The book I am reading upon the insistency of a powerful missionary friend who exclaimed, “I found this book and this guy writes everything you have been saying,” is Naked Gospel by Andrew Farley. May I advise you to have many colored pencils on hand…and a Bible…because you will most likely think ,Mr.Farley surely quoted that verse wrong.
(sharing with Ginny)