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Water into Wine.

November 8, 2012


~

Can we take this water and make it into wine?
boiling over.
molecules colliding
energy rising.
Will you take this communion with me?

We will take it Long Communion… but with you and I, it shouldn’t take all evening.
I have enough for both of us.
Let me serve you.
His blood and His body

thank you…for stopping to help me take this boiling water and make it wine.

Sure I will go first…

big breath in….

(first I tell you what I am struggling with…how I need to see Him meet me)

it’s about forgiveness… my lips feel like they are chapped from praying forgiveness. No matter how many times I say I forgive… more stuff comes up. No matter how I feel like it’s at peace…and I have forgiven them… well you know how it goes… no forgiveness ever in return just more reasons to forgive. I guess that is the main thing…shouldn’t this get easier? Shouldn’t I be given less reasons to forgive and not more and more? How is it easier to forgive when it’s about me…. the cowards attacked my husband when it’s me they want… see,”cowards”… another reason to forgive. So there ya go… the very ugly side of me….and I just want to be better at this.

(Now you share how His story intersects mine… where HE is in this)

What’s that you say…. It never got easier for Him… He died forgiving… He was never given less reasons to forgive… and it has all been paid…and those people I need to forgive have already been forgiven as easily as I have and will and will forevermore… All of this isn’t my burden to carry…it was already carried for me. My husband has broad shoulders… He designed him this way… He made him strong enough to stand in the gap for me when it isn’t safe, even when I want to protect him….and that is honorable and understanding but let my broad shouldered husband do what he was created to do…let him stand in front and in the gap…he will be blessed for it.

Wow… you are so good at this Long Communion…thank you for that!

(Now I figure out what I am celebrating… the “do this in remembrance of me” part)

I am what I celebrate and I celebrate that my struggle with forgiveness is forgiven…that it isn’t for me to carry…and that God has perfectly designed my husband for this…. I celebrate all of this…thank you!

Now you… let me serve you.
go ahead…I am not going anywhere.

….

8 Comments leave one →
  1. November 8, 2012 7:53 pm

    Just what I needed today, eucharist. Thankfulness.The reminder, grace, forgiveness. The burden wasn’t meant for me to carry. Twice I’ve read this today.

  2. ro elliott permalink
    November 8, 2012 9:57 pm

    OH…yes…that hard struggle with forgiveness…especially if there is no path for a two way interaction…but I do promise you this…God can and will get you where you need to go…forgiveness between you and God…let Him work it there…and if the other never comes…His grace is truly sufficient. blessings and grace to you my friend~

  3. Courtney permalink
    November 9, 2012 10:09 am

    Your posts always touch me in a place I thought was long forgotten…thank you for reminding me that we are all human and yet he loves us and forgives us for the things we feel are unforgivable. Your site provides me with hope that I will make it through and can be stronger with him.

    • November 9, 2012 11:59 am

      oh my goodness… a thousand times thank you.
      what a wonderful thing for you to say to me.
      you made me mostly speechless by your kindness and honesty.
      thank you.
      T

  4. Loraine permalink
    November 9, 2012 1:51 pm

    Your posts always encourage me. It’s good to hear others struggle with the same things I struggle with. I always move to a better place after reading your posts. Thank you.

    • November 9, 2012 1:53 pm

      good. I really debated showing the actual struggle…using the word “coward” showing my own ugliness… but if for no other reason it can be used to help someone else .. then all is for His glory.
      T

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