She called me from the inside… “Did He tell you anything?” Her good good heart would need a rejuvenation of sorts… a triple one.
a wrestle of flesh and the spiritual happened within me… the heat of it rushing past my eyes and down my cheek.
“I love you… you are my best friend… He is within you… You know Him better than me… Your heart knows ,” I told her as I brought myself together. So many would tell her that “at her age” it wasn’t worth it…
But what wasn’t worth it?
When has it ever been about giving up?
When did we start telling people to stop trying?
You have the opportunity for more… but why bother?
Why bother getting to know your great grandchildren better…. why bother to make more memories… why bother to impact more people?
I mean they are old… and you know…recovery and all (shrug). They even talk about how they become a burden….
What exactly is the burden... because I can tell you one thing there are plenty of younger able bodied people that burden me with their issues more than this woman ever has…. even on her worst days.
This woman here.. who opens her home to anyone and everyone.
who has jiggled your baby and mine.
who will sit and tell you about how Jesus saved her over and over …80years span.
who will let you sleep in her bed or on her sofa… after you have led worship for three days.. even though she doesn’t know you.
who will bring food after your baby.
who may not remember your name but will remember your story
who puts up with a husband who , no matter how many times has been told not to, leaves all of his doe stinkin’ hunting gear in her clean kitchen.
who could be knee deep in crap and mud till lunch and still look like a 1940’s movie star by dinner at the fanciest hotel.
who only a few years ago, in her 70’s can go to Haiti and get corn rows braided in her thin hair and provide medical care to orphans and build a school out of concrete blocks.
who doesn’t care what color any of her great grandchildren are… and has NEVER abandoned them….loves them fiercely.
she knows abandonment… and no matter how she has ever been treated…still …still welcomes you home.
She calls me that first day…and tells me, “I am trapped…they have me trapped in here and won’t let me out…. they say my blood pressure.”
Her and I ,we hate being trapped…. so I grab my keys…
“You aren’t trapped… you are 80 years old… You are my best friend and I will come in there and grab you, throw you over my shoulder and we will go… but rest assured you aren’t trapped… you can make your decision based on the truth that there isn’t anything “trapped” about you… you are my favorite and I will do what ever you need me to do… you know I will do anything you ask….”
“I know. I know I am. ” she says with more peace. We like being told we aren’t trapped. So I pack my bag… meet her there. I wrap her in her favorite color so the nurses know she is loved…so she knows I care. I ask for hot water and pour her tea in a real tea cup. Just the way she likes it… and her eyes tear up. I bring her communion and we share it together. She isn’t trapped anymore. We take back the fear filled spot and pour love and Him right there.
To allow your heart to move forward… to be rejuvenated…
you need to know you aren’t trapped.
You need to hear about the freedom.
You need to want it.
No one can make your heart better without you wanting it.
You need to let go of your fears and step forward.
I thank Him in the midst of it all…
- for 4 wheel drive … to go through the sleet and snow… because I must to get there.
- for all you amazing readers who seek His face and ask for words
- this baby of mine who is so full of joy she has to squint and clench her fists with how happy she is!
- this husBen who woos me by making my dreams come true.
- that feeling you get when someone’s hotmess doesn’t get in the way of your work!
- for a Saturday night out with my oldest son… he is so awesome.
- my daughter as a sidekick as we visit family ,time and time again ,in the hospital.
- hawks that don’t actually snag your chickens.
- good hair days…. I mean so thankful!
- the most beautiful camera strap … a “just because” gift!
- new lipstick
- bringing and taking communion ,with my best friend ,in the hospital.