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oh, 5 years ago me…

February 21, 2014


just after she asked me to get my “snow pants on and come snowboard with me momma!”
just after I laughed that I can’t snowboard!
just after she zipped down the hill saying, “I bet most people from Guatemala can’t do this”

just out of the blue…
just after coming in from a busy day…

just a bit after all that when I was getting dinner finished up for this family of ten…

“Momma you are such a great momma… thank you for being so great”
“Oh yeah?…what’s so great?”I say just after my breath catches in my throat.
“because you taught me math… and to be myself even when I want to be just like everyone else… and you make great food… and you teaching me math has helped me a lot. Those are no small things.”

it’s that “you taught me math” that makes me want to reach back to the me 5years ago and tell her it’s going to be alright. I want to grab that 5-years-ago-me… and tell her not to loose sleep…so.much.sleep….
that they will be okay
they will be attached
they will learn to read
they will love
they will love to learn!
they will stand up for themselves
they will have a heart that can love 2 mothers
they will help  lead a congregation in worship of a God that they truly truly love.
they will be able to love those who abandon them… because they “get” what it means to have a broken heart.
and by God…
she will not just learn math…
she will love it.
so don’t loose so much sleep momma… you got this!

11 Comments leave one →
  1. February 21, 2014 8:37 am

    Sometimes we lose sight of how much the small things can be the big things! And how much all the small things matter! Stopping by as your 5 Min Fri neighbor! Blessings!

  2. February 21, 2014 8:54 am

    This is lovely. Thanks for sharing on Five Minute Friday. Sometimes the small things turn out to be the big things 🙂

  3. Sarah Koci Scheilz permalink
    February 21, 2014 8:56 am

    Visiting from Lisa-Jo . . . and what beautiful words here! Love how you looked back at five years later!

  4. February 21, 2014 11:21 am

    I love this! I just typed a similar sentence to someone adopting two little ones at the same time, one is blind. ” if I could just tell myself then what I know now. Relax. It is really going to be okay! She is going to flourish and you are the PERFECT mama for her. God created you to be her mom and her to be your daughter!” I could only see the present and was scared. to. death. God is I AM -and he took that scared mama and the hands open to His gifts and used it!

  5. February 21, 2014 11:23 am

    PS. Isn’t it beautiful how God continues to use those moments, years later, to minister to those in the present! Beautiful T

    • February 22, 2014 8:05 am

      I wish I knew how to write better to the families who are have adopted … or have within the past 3 years brought children into their families. Its such unique few years… and no one really “gets it” unless you have done it… the books just can’t capture just right.

  6. February 22, 2014 7:45 am

    Loved this post and I love your artwork! As a grandma waiting on a grandson from the Congo it calmed me today. Thanks for sharing.

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