A freer Freedom…
When they left Egypt they probably thought…,”Wait? Seriously? This is what being free feels like, after all these generations… just for us to go?” Some probably also felt like celebrating. This was all they had ever wanted…
But freedom feels too good to be true… to a slave.
Your body aches to do the same things you have been doing for a lifetime.
A lifetime of making bricks , building walls , dodging danger and managing your life so that the slave driver does not notice you … A lifetime of the same muddy dance. Then, one day, they call you free…and you are shown a vast future ahead.
They knew how to live as slaves… Freedom was a fairy tale.
A fairy tale come true.
He knew they would feel overwhelmed. They had never had to deal with anything other than slavery… other than a routine life with an oppressor. They never had to face life for themselves…. no rulers… just a Ruler.
I never knew why they complained until I did it myself,
“Why would you free me from anxiety just to bring me here!!!,” and I literally slapped my hand over my mouth and said,
“Oh I didn’t mean that I am so sorry forgive me,” just as fast.
Because nothing is worth going back. I wouldn’t trade my freedom for that life ever again.
But the truth of it is this…. the anxiety… the slavery… it was shrouding something. It was hiding the things never dealt with…painful things…terribly painful things. Those wanders never knew how rebellious they were until they didn’t have the rules and consequences …. and me, without it (anxiety), I was faced with a sea of sadness. Sadness for the injustice… sadness for the dishonor … sadness of having very little worth to anyone… so much sadness that I had never been allowed to feel… sadness was weakness … and weakness was unacceptable and punishable… and the punishment would far out weigh the offense…. and the sadness wasn’t worth the cost.
But if you don’t ever mourn… then what?
Sea of Sadness.
Overwhelming to look at.. I wondered how I could ever mourn that much…was that really nessassary…
But what does He do with slave masters rushing up on His freed people and a Sea of Sadness standing in front.
He does the Supernatural.
He took me by the hand… and said He would go with me.
He would take me across.
He has put it behind me.
Closes it up. Never going back.
Freedom feels even better now.
Freedom feels even freer now.
Nothing I have ever experienced compares.