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They didn’t wake up…

April 9, 2015



Flipping through the channels a serious blonde blurts… “seven children and two adults found dead in a local home… it is thought that carbon monoxide is the culprit…”I glance at our detector.

I repeat the news commercial to the man who survived it with me as he walks in and places our evening snacks on the table.  He converted me long ago to his ways of snacks before bed.  “So what do you wanna watch?”  …

The next morning I listen to a message from a friend, “Hey friend… I have a question to ask you… so put this in your hopper and let me know what you think…….”  I don’t remember what she asked me… I just remember that one word…


For whatever reason when it all happened … when we four of ten could have died… I didn’t process it much.  Back when the hopper caught on fire and smoldered and filled our bedroom with poison.  Back when He called me three times, “Get up and check your fireplace”.  Back when our six other kids were two hours shy of being  made orphans.  Perhaps it was too much back then when it happened… but now safely away from the event… many mornings we have since awoken safely…

But that other family didn’t wake up.

They went to sleep and never woke up the next day.

I remembered that poisoned brain foggy feeling from that night.

I remembered snuggling in close with my baby and that toxic room.

I remember so crazy clearly Him speaking those three times…

Tears poured down my face and it hit me…

As timing would have it, in walked that same man who survived that terrible night with me… with me and my two babies… I grabbed him and he smelled  of guitar wood and stain, “They all died…they didn’t get to do all the things they wanted.  Did they go to sleep and think they could fix things tomorrow? They thought they had time to fulfill their dreams.  Did they make love or did they think they still had time?  Did the kids go to bed stressed out about tests or did they fall asleep knowing how loved they were?  They had so many things they wanted to do.  They all thought they had tomorrow.  They have no more tomorrows!  Did they go to bed holding hands?   So many dreams were never fulfilled!  They went to sleep and never woke up!”  Most of that was squeaky and blubbery and he tried to piece it together.

“It is just so sad, ” I whispered.  “It could have been us…only worse because our other kids would have found us!”

So many toxic things we have been saved from…

So many toxic rooms we have been taken out of ….

So many poisonous environments He has called us out of….

Not just for us…

for our futures …

for our kids …

I am thankful all over again.  Maybe even moreso. Now with a clear head and no residual haze lingering.  Now that we have a carbon monoxide detector in our bedroom.  Now that all our wills and paperwork are in order.  Now that I know He can call through the fumes… and that He will keep calling me…


3 Comments leave one →
  1. SUSAN JACOBS permalink
    April 9, 2015 7:39 pm

    This is an odd place to put this but it’s the only way I know to contact you. My son sent me this interesting video on an invention “bee hive” that actully drains the honey for you and I think I saw last year that you keep bees on your farm as well as all the wonder children and sheep and guitars. I thought at least I would pass the site along to you they are a start up and in AU but it is so cool… Anyway here is the site if you want to see the video. Have a beautiful week end and kiss all those beautiful children you woke up for.

    • April 14, 2015 12:28 pm

      Oh yes! WE have it on order.
      Wont that be fun to see working when it gets here… in a loooooooong time.

  2. SUSAN JACOBS permalink
    April 16, 2015 11:06 pm

    Awesome. This is so cool. I can’t wait to see how it works out for you.

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