threw it in the trash…

All day I have felt like I am sinking in words and pages and too much of all of this and I can’t seem to climb back up to clarity.  So I had tried once  again by sitting and claiming the time while 8 kids wolf down dinner in a quarter of the time it took me to make it.   After writing block upon writing block I felt frustrated with the feeling of time wasted and nothing accomplished.  I took the whole file and threw it out.  Who am I to write a book?  The whole thing is just silliness.  So I just trashed it.  I had told no one.  I had opened a whole new file blank and glaring.

Who am I to do this?

It’s absolutely absurd.

So when she had come up to me after dinner with her swirly tutu I turned to her, “pray for me… get a word for me because I feel discouraged.”

She knows the way and with closed eyes  she pushes against ancient doors that give way for her.

She hears a Voice…. and a smile  bends her face and her eyes scrunch and her shoulders go up… I know that same joy.

I know the feeling when He speaks and your being crunches up.

“He says don’t destroy what you wrote… He says it’s good… keep going.”

My eyes squint back at her… she laughs and spins off in a pink tutu.

There is no way she could have known.

With her word straight from a throne room…

I pulled it out of the trash file…