I always preface it with, “this is how we celebrate Passover … We weren’t raised celebrating … neither one of our families of origin did this… so we are blindly piecing it together. We don’t do it with rules and regulations because for us … that was for a time where regulations and sticking to the Jewish laws was what saved you. We feel now, for us, that slaps in the face to all He has done. So if you ever sit down to someone else’s Seder it will most likely be completely different. However, for us this is about passing stories to our children… We feel that the price has been paid and for us… this is about getting together in His Name, reminding our children and each other, all that He saved us from and how “We are what we celebrate” and this is a very real opportunity to celebrate Him.”
Every year I wonder if any one really cares about it as much as I do. Is all this fuss worth it?
But first thing, with cereal bowl in hand , my son realized it was Passover he wrapped his arms around me, “OHHH I just remembered it is Passover!!!!”
Right before everyone left ,and we gathered for Communion and my eyes peeked open to see a holy circle of kids and friends my heart sighed.
As one of my dearest friends left she said, “wow this is my 3rd Passover here,” and I realized her children know no different : a new generation knows no different.
And that feeling I have every year, when I go to sleep on Passover is unlike anything I have ever experienced … I know He thinks it is worth it … we are worth it to Him … and He is worth it to us.
Bald eagles are in the sky, crocus’ are on the ground and daffodils are nodding thankful sunny blooms. I gathered all the kids who weren’t preoccupied with their studies and went to the garden shop. Miracles of miracles the baby fell asleep and I leisurely took my time breathing in all the smells and colors of spring blooms. I will admit, it may be a bit early to put my pots out, but I don’t care. After this terribly way too long cold winter… I am putting in a flower heavy garden. This will be a first for me… I was raised with very little “excess” plants. We grew, if at all ,a very serious vegetable garden. Extra flower beds were considered “stupid, stupid, stupid”. However I recently was inspired by my aunt’s garden who plants tons and tons of flowers… and truthfully my children rave about it to such a degree that I reconsidered the way I was raised.
So flowers and excess joyful additions it is!!!
Community doesn’t always take off like you think it would.
Labels and definitions are more important…crucial even, than you think.
Most people use the word “Community” where they mean :
Most people don’t understand how to handle each others flaws and gifts.
flaws will come out in community.
When you are sharing real life with each other…when you are giving each other grace to be your real selves…. the dross of you will surface.
The dross of others will surface.
It can be a drossy mess. Truly.
It will happen…. and it is okay.
Anytime you are trying to get a finer more precious material dross is expected.
The beauty ,the most wonderful thing about true actual community… is then the real goodness happens.
When you share your different answer … or you stand up and speak out about what is wrong… and you aren’t shoved away but supported…
when you knock the wind out of someone… but they love you for who you really are and know that wasn’t your true self….
when you say the incorrect thing but they hear your heart … that is where the precious commodity of community makes sense.
And no socializing… And no networking will do that.
The mistakes are the litmus test of real authentic community.
How people handle themselves when they have made a mistake is the litmus test of if they truly want community or if they were confusing it with social networking.
Do they stomp off?
Do they “poison the well on their way off the farm” ?
(and oh baby … they will and they do … and that is part of it all too … just more of that drossy mess)
Do they apologize..like the sincere kind of apology?
Do they forgive even through hurt?
Community is a simple grid … and you are on it … or you aren’t.
You can skim off the dross or you can’t.
You can love regardless or you can’t.
She watched as two of her siblings left with permission slips in hand. When all the morning hubbub of a family of ten subsided she came over with four year old sincerity, “I need permission slips too”. She handed me a purple marker and a stack of sticky notes.
“Where are you going? What do I need to write this out for?” I waited thinking of the two I had signed this morning.
I didn’t expect her answer .. but when I saw them in front of me I realized we all need to write ourselves a permission slip … maybe everyday.
There are big things ahead.
You can’t rush them… and you can’t do anything to get there before it’s time.
But you can prepare yourself,
and you can be right here
in this here and now ,you can get your self ready.
let go of all the stuff
shear it off
none of it for waste… even those little shitty parts …
you have learned so much.
Can’t you hear the whole world singing,
“let it go”
it was starting to pull at you anyway
you are going into great things …
ideas bursting out of your mind and into reality
can you hear a good Shepherd?
A Shepherd is saying, “it’s okay… I love you… you are going to love where I lead you”
If you don’t follow me on Instagram…. here is some more footage of the sheep shearing here.
And if you follow me on Instagram… come on over. ~T
She has learned a fun little trick of drizzling her rice chex off of her play saucer . She is quite “pretty” about it as she lightly sprinkles it off the edge. She is studying gravity or how to be a flower girl… or both. It only took the second handful of rice cereal precisely sprinkled onto the deck to call in a flock of hens. I thought she would be alarmed… not at all. She loved it. She seemed enthralled with the results of her experiment. So I took her out of the playsaucer and plunked her down… how would she like this?! I know it sounds a bit Hitchcock to plop her down in the center of a bunch of hungry birds…no worries, it was all in the name of science….. obviously. In all her happiest baby ever ways she loved it all the more…. a birds eye view, if you will. Once the hens learned she was an endless food factory they called more of their friends… and she loved it all the more….surrounded on all sides…right in the midst of a feeding frenzy. I guess if you think about it, being the youngest of eight children isn’t much different then a flock of ravenous hens.
I have a lot of thoughts… and don’t know where to start.
I have been Hearing so much … but I don’t know how to share it with you.
I have so many things I want to accomplish … but I am waiting for the season to start.
I have so many things I am ready to leave behind … yet I must wait on this season to end.
I feel very “bottle necked” right now
I need more space?
more… more permission?
I just want to push though
or kick through
or just smash. right. on. through.
I am just. so. ready.